


Growing Memories

by Zaniida



Series: Five Moments of Intimacy (MCU) [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 3SFMI, Angst and Feels, Canon Perspective, Compare and Contrast, FMI, FMNI, Five Moments of (Nonsexual) Intimacy, Galaxy-friendly, Gen, If I make another of these things I'm totally making a crossover genre tag, three-sentence fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:27:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22051030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaniida/pseuds/Zaniida
Summary: Every time Tony turns around, his daughter is doing some new thing that reminds him of the boy who trusted him, the boy who was counting on him—the boy hefailed.
Relationships: Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Five Moments of Intimacy (MCU) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626034
Comments: 17
Kudos: 32





	1. Tony's Lost Boy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GalaxyThreads](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxyThreads/gifts), [Achika_pl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Achika_pl/gifts).



> Apologies for the lack of fics, after I said I'd post one per day; we've had the internet be out for the past two or three days. For those interested in the mildly amusing play-by-play, check the End Note.
> 
> Anyway, have another stab at a Three-Sentence Five Moments of Intimacy Fic (three sentences per section), with a finale part tacked on just to fill it out. I think this marks the fifth installment of my Twelve Days of Christmas attempts. With any luck, I'll post another piece later today (likely for the _Person of Interest_ fandom) to make up for the gap, and I hope to get my [Yearly Retrospective](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1234658) up either today or tomorrow, though I'm still wondering which fandom to write it for (it'll most likely be a POI/MCU crossover piece).
> 
> My thanks to **GalaxyThreads** for pleasant interactions in her comments section, as well as for introducing me to the Loki & Peter pairing (I'm still planning to write one of those). Thanks also to **Achika** for being one of the most engaging voices I've grown familiar with in the comments section of DFD, and for making me up my game as far as useful, encouraging comments in general =^_^= I hope you both start the new year with hope, strength, and joy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every time Tony turns around, his daughter is doing some new thing that reminds him of the boy who trusted him, the boy who was counting on him—the boy he _failed_.

The first time they have to buckle Morgan into a car seat—just heading home from the hospital, with Happy driving because even Tony doesn’t trust himself behind the wheel right now—Tony looks down at all those straps and buckles and freezes up.

Pepper tends to Morgan while Tony leans against the trunk, his mind flooded with images of webbing wrapping around a giant’s feet, and Peter getting backhanded across the tarmac, and flailing in terror when Tony showed up to help.

Tony couldn’t even keep a superpowered teenager safe (couldn’t even keep him _alive_ )—how the hell is he supposed to protect an _infant_ ?

* * *

The first time Morgan throws her little arms around his neck, she’s barely a year old; Pepper spots the look on Tony’s face and takes her back with a sympathetic yet troubled smile.

Tony retreats to his lab before he can come undone, caught up in the memory of the hug he rejected: _That wasn’t meant to be a hug, I was just opening the door for you._

And the moment when Peter had fallen to dust in his arms.

* * *

It’s honestly surprising (and largely due to Happy’s unflagging efforts) that the specter of paparazzi doesn’t show up during the first two years, but Tony and Pepper had both known that Starks don’t get to be anonymous.

The first time they bring Morgan to the big city, just for a minor celebration, Tony is reminded of how he’d gone public with his identity—almost literally the minute he had an American cheeseburger in his mouth again—without once considering how this might impact a family he wasn’t even dreaming of at the time.

He also thinks of how Peter had never been _out_ , couldn’t risk that threat to his loved ones—and yet his alias and biometric data are stored on a database somewhere, a vulnerability that the kid would never have accepted if Tony, his trusted mentor, hadn’t been backing the Sokovia Accords.

* * *

Morgan is three when she sneaks into Tony’s lab for the first time; the freakouts (from Tony, Pepper, _and_ JARVIS) scare her, leaving her crying about how ‘I jus’ wanna be like Daddy.’

Later on, in calmer moments, he’ll hate himself for acting just like his dad, rejecting his kid’s first attempts to mimic him.

Now, though, as he updates security features, he recalls another eager youngster ( _‘I just wanted to be like you’_ — _‘I wanted you to be better’_ ) and how Tony had been looking forward to seeing Peter’s brain at work in a _proper_ lab, geeking out over alien marvels and breakthrough tech from Wakanda… and how that brilliant young mind and its glowing future are gone for good.

* * *

While she’s had her fair share of scrapes and sniffles, it’s not until she’s four that Morgan gets sick enough to cause real concern—and, of course, it happens out of the blue during a Christmas party.

Maybe Tony could’ve handled it better if not for the wording: ‘Daddy, I don’t feel so good’ before the puke started, and then, as they were trying to coax her into the car, ‘I don’t wanna go.’

Pepper has to drive, because Happy’s out sick (which might be where Morgan got it), and Tony’s holding Morgan close to his side and shaking so bad that Pepper doesn’t need to ask him _why_.

* * *

* * *

* * *

So when they come to him with their ludicrous plan and the very real possibility that it might unravel everything he’s built over the past five years, Tony finds his instincts at war with each other.

Because he’s got his life with the woman of his dreams and the child he never expected to be a good father for, and they love him despite his scars, despite the nightmares and despite all the unhealthy behavior that he regularly partakes in just to be able to cope with what’s left of his life.

And yet— _and yet_ —it’s like Peter is waiting for him, and Peter deserves so much better than Tony was ever able to give him; that’s why, despite his protests, he can’t move on without giving this a shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is how it went:
> 
>  **Household:** Oh noes! We haz no internets!
> 
>  **Household:** Eh, this isn't that unusual, this time of year; any number of things could've brought it down for a while. Let's be patient and do things not requiring the internet.
> 
> (Two Days Later)
> 
>  **Household:** Oh noes! We still haz no internets!
> 
>  **Various Household Members:** Let me ineffectively check little pieces of the setup, instead of actually checking the entire thing.
> 
>  **Mom:** Maybe it's our service provider? (calls them)
> 
>  **Service Provider:** Nothing wrong on our end!
> 
>  **Brother:** I'm battling a cold and don't want to do my normal job of household tech support, but have you tried troubleshooting it this way?
> 
>  **Me:** Um, I'll begrudgingly follow your instructions (even though honestly I ought to be able to do this on my own by now).
> 
>  **Brother:** You suck. Anyway, plug this into that instead of the other thing.
> 
>  **Internet:** I works now!
> 
>  **Me:** Yay! We solved the problem! We just need to replace this one little adapter.
> 
>  **Brother:** Um, troubleshooting involves a few more steps. (checks the other plugs) There are like five adapters and/or splitters on this line, and it could be any one of them has given up the ghost. (checks further) Or, y'know, the fact that this one phone wire has been _completely cut in half_.
> 
>  **Me:** ......oh. Yeah, that would do it.
> 
> (We still don't know what cut it, though theories abound.)
> 
> Anyway, that's why no updates the past two days. Or, at least, my reason for not posting them; my excuses for not _writing_ them aren't so valid (though I did indeed get some writing done, along with some organizing). Also, the number of times I'd have the impulse to jump on the internet to check a piece of data or the use of a word or how something looked in canon... I'd say that was an unhealthy amount of internet compulsion, right there, and small wonder I get more done when I can set the internet down for a while (in general, not in this specific instance).


	2. Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The few times that Peter runs across Morgan over the years, it always seems to go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not entirely happy with the section titles. I wanted Peter to have some mental shortcut for each encounter, based on media-related things, which seemed in keeping with Peter. But while some of these seem spot-on, others seem off, and _Pride and Prejudice_ , while a statement of fact about what happened in the scene, implies many things that aren't intended (like some potential future romantic connection between Peter and Morgan -- when Peter's twice as old as she is). So the only way it works is if Peter knows the title but not the contents.
> 
> Also, I tried to title one section over a particular scene from _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ , but I simply could not make it work in any way that'd make sense to anyone who hasn't seen the show. Or in a way that narrowed down the reference to an obvious, recognizable emotion: _She was never gone; she was with me! But I let her go_. But for those who've seen _Buffy_ , that might be a meaningful feeling to keep in mind.
> 
> (Anyway, if anyone can come up with a more appropriate title for some of the sections, let me know what you suggest and why it fits.)

**_Thestrals_ **

_What would I even say to her?_ Peter wonders as he watches Tony’s daughter twisting her dress and wandering around the funeral guests; her expression isn’t sad, but curious and a little confused.

Everyone else is here to mourn, to pay their respects for the man who saved the universe at the cost of his own life, but Morgan, Morgan is the outsider, not really grasping that her father is dead—that he’s never coming back.

Peter grew up with the knowledge that his parents were dead, had to look into the vacant eyes of his Uncle Ben, got killed himself and then recreated and not an hour later saw his mentor give his life to save them all—Peter is well acquainted with death, and he hopes that it will be many, many years before Morgan shares that awareness with him.

* * *

**_Monk_ **

He’s almost twenty before he sees her again, at Pepper’s side during a hostage situation, and Peter’s there faster than any of the other heroes and gets the bad guys tied up before they even realize he’s in the building.

When he goes to help the girls down from the water tower, Morgan just backs away and won’t let him touch her, even after Pepper explains that Spider-Man is a friend and is only trying to help them.

“I can climb down myself,” she insists, and eventually he just weaves a climbing mesh over the broken ladder and sets up some safety nets just in case (she doesn’t need them, but by the time she reaches the ground she’s exhausted enough to collapse into Happy’s arms and get carted away, leaving Peter standing there awkwardly as the police move in to handle the criminals).

* * *

**_Twitch_ **

One year, he gets invited to join all the other Avengers and their allies on a private cruise ship to celebrate the fourth of July— _in memory of lost heroes_ lies just under the surface, but Pepper tries to keep it upbeat—and Morgan, a little over nine, is griping about everything she can possibly name.

Her favorite livestream, it turns out, is hosting two of her favorite actors and one of her favorite singers, and the idea of watching them a couple of hours later than the rest of her peer group has her stomping around complaining about the noise and the people and the “stinky food” (she doesn’t like Mexican _or_ Thai) until she finally breaks down, screams through angry tears and runs off and locks herself in the bathroom.

As Peter tries to enjoy his first drink with Pepper, he realizes that Morgan’s the only person on the entire ship who isn’t entrenched in the business of saving the world, and quite possibly the only one whose primary engagement with adrenaline is watching other people play games over the internet.

* * *

**_Hachiko_ **

One year, Pepper calls him to ask, with obvious mixed feelings, if Morgan could go on a patrol with Spider-Man one day that week; it’s Daddy-Daughter Day at the school, and Morgan is the only kid among her friends who doesn’t have a father figure of some kind in her life (Happy, apparently, doesn’t count, and Rhodey’s been off on some assignment in the Middle East).

Morgan accepts the outing, but she doesn’t engage, just acts _utterly_ bored even as they’re swooping along the tops of skyscrapers; when it’s all over and he’s dropping her off at the penthouse balcony, he apologizes to Pepper for not coming up with something more exciting.

Watching Morgan tromp back into the tower, Pepper smiles sadly and murmurs, “It’s the same as last year: If she lets herself have fun without him, it’s like letting herself forget that her dad is gone.”

* * *

**_Pride & Prejudice_ **

Over the years, Happy has made it a point to send Peter tickets to every tech event that he could reasonably attend (the knowledge and the networking have been both thrilling and intimidating), and that’s where he runs into her again—and almost doesn’t recognize her; she’s sporting a sparkling red-and-gold fauxhawk, and in just four years she’s evidently gone through both a growth spurt and a… growth spurt.

She’s prepping a display for the announcement of the first fiber-optic ternary PC, which Peter heard about just a few weeks ago and has been dying to get his hands on so he can run all the experiments that even the lab computers balk at (yes, he’s prepared to spend a couple years living on ramen and hot dogs if that’s what it takes to get it)—but when he approaches to congratulate her on the design and ask her about the specs, she glances him over and scoffs.

“This beauty’s designed to handle the kind of calculations and logic systems that’d make the PS Vir melt right through the _floor_ ,” she says loftily, “not that you’d understand any of them, and there’s only three thousand going out this year, so you’re not gonna waste it on some dumb gaming rig”—and then she flounces off, leaving him standing there speechless.

* * *

* * *

* * *

For half his life, he’s known _of_ her, and she’s been dear to him by association, the last remainder of the man who had been something like a dad to him.

And now she’s left childhood behind, and all its possibilities, and she’s growing into the woman that Tony would have wished for her: strong and capable, quick-witted and decisive, leagues beyond even the brightest minds that Stark Industries has managed to attract.

But despite the fleeting opportunities and despite his best efforts, he’s never been able to get close enough to even share a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that I want the third chapter to be Morgan's POV over a similar set of FMI sections. Not sure where I want to go with it. Will likely be a while before I decide.
> 
> Would be nice if the _Person of Interest_ FMI fics flowed this easily. I'm stuck on a couple and even the one-shots aren't so easy to get in the right mindset for. Even though I've been pacing through the show again, trying to figure out some patterns in the first season. Got my mom to watch the first episode with me; maybe we'll see about watching the later episodes and it'll spark some creativity again.


End file.
